I Didn't Know I Had Great Managers, Until I Didn't

Reflections on the impact of management on career growth

Looking back, I didn't fully understand why so many people complained about their bosses. It seemed like something people just said, something that came with the job. I couldn't relate. For most of my career, I felt fortunate I always had managers who supported me, helped me grow, and gave me the space to do meaningful work.

That changed recently. Out of my 12+ years working in software engineering, I had my first bad experience with a manager. And it got me wondering.

It made me think about the managers I've had, and what made the good ones stand out. What did they do differently that kept me motivated and moving forward?

What Made Them Great

I think the answer is simple: they put people first. They cared about my growth, my career, and my experience, not just about checking boxes or impressing leadership.

When managers work with that mindset, it changes everything. Office politics aren't about favoritism. They become a way to highlight good work and create opportunities for the team. When someone genuinely wants to see you succeed, you can tell.

That said, I don't think being a good manager is easy. It requires a strong understanding of the business and knowing how to place people where they can do their best work. It's like solving an optimization problem with constantly changing factors and a lot of moving parts. But when it's done well, the impact is huge.

What If You Were Your Own Manager?

At one point I started asking myself: what if I managed myself?

If I had the freedom to work on projects that helped the company and also helped me grow, what would that look like?

I'd be in charge of showing the value of my work, organizing my time, hitting the goals I committed to. I'd still be accountable, but I'd have more control over how I work and what I focus on. And honestly, who's more invested in your own growth and motivation than you?

Of course, not every company or role allows for this level of flexibility. But even small moves in this direction, finding pockets of autonomy, having some say in how you approach your work, can make a big difference.

Where It Breaks Down

The opposite of all this is when managers are focused more on pleasing their own bosses than supporting their teams.

I've seen how quickly that mindset backfires. They overpromise, they put pressure on the team, and they start micromanaging because they don't trust people to deliver. But often that lack of trust comes from a gap in their own understanding.

I've had a manager tell me something would just take a couple of lines of code, when in reality, it was far more complex. But because they didn't take the time to listen or ask questions, they assumed the issue was with performance, not with their expectations.

This type of behavior isn't rare. And it's harmful.

When It's Time to Move On

Not everyone is cut out for management. That's the reality. And sometimes, you just end up reporting to someone who's not helping you grow. If that happens, you have to look out for yourself.

The first step is to talk to them. Be direct, bring ideas, and see if things can improve. Some people are open to feedback and want to do better. But if nothing changes, or worse, if they start making you feel like you're the problem, then it's probably time to move on.

You don't need to stick around in a situation that's holding you back. Especially when you know you've put in the effort to fix it.

Final Thoughts

Good managers can have an outsized impact on your career. When you find one, it's worth appreciating.

But if you're in a situation where that's missing, don't ignore the signs. Advocate for yourself. Explore ways to create the space and direction you need, even if that means switching teams or changing companies altogether.

No one's more responsible for your growth than you. And the sooner you act on that, the better your chances of finding a place where you can truly thrive.